Day 48: Trying to Stay Positive
Day 48: May 13, 2020
Global cases: 4,425,656; Deaths: 297,765
Egypt cases: 10,431; Deaths: 556
Mariam Ibrahim Hassanen
Political Science Alumna
A Mini Diary of the Times
I woke up today feeling good and refreshed so I decided to work out first thing in the morning. Then, I took a shower, had breakfast, and watched two episodes of Friends. For some reason I couldn’t help but feel that there is something kind of warm about this global state of quarantine.
For the first time ever people from all parts of the world are actually doing and advocating for the exact same thing. It reveals a very strong sense of solidarity and unanimity across the world, which is really kind of calming. A lot of people are sharing more posts of themselves spending time with their families, some are apart and suffering tremendously of course, but those who are healthy and financially able are keeping a close knit on each other and just peacefully resting in their homes without being bothered.
Yet, one cannot ignore how something so small and insignificant caused an immense amount of pain fear and change across the entire world. The whole world is disrupted by the current predicament. No matter how powerful and invincible we think we are, we remain so vulnerable in front of God’s will. From an economic and medical perspective, what we are going through is so devastating, but for the first time the entire world is seeing eye to eye on something and is suffering through the exact same thing.
This is going to have a huge economic impact and a lot of people will be negatively affected, but on the bright side I think environmentally speaking nature seems to be flourishing.
This may be God’s way of saving life on earth. People are being more grounded and really learning that at the end of the day if you have your family, your health, food, and shelter then that’s all you ever need. Everything else you sought in life and thought was of great value was just a luxury and a distraction that will just wither away when things get rough and will eventually lose all meaning, because at the end of the day at times of hardship human beings act upon their natural inclinations and basic needs.
My sleeping pattern has been way off lately; I spend the nights online chatting with my friends then I wake up late, have lunch, and spend time with my family. I’ve been feeling so weird lately though. Everything makes me cry even happy things. I’m so indifferent to everything and everyone and I’m just thinking “what’s the point”.
I tried to stay “positive” for the longest time, but I am tired of pretending. The people, the conversations, the days are all similar and empty. I’m sick of seeing so much pain and injustice in the world and not knowing how to fix it and then feeling spoiled and guilty for being so depressed in my privilege. I’m so detached from myself; I’ve felt disconnected for the longest time. At this point I’m just tiptoeing around my mental health.
For The Caravan‘s previous diary entries in Arabic and English go to our COVID-19 Special Coverage page.
I woke up at 5am today. I tried to put myself to sleep because it was too early to get up, but then I figured my sleeping pattern has been so screwed up lately so what difference does it make. I was feeling good and energized; I guess it’s because I am going to leave the house today. So I decided to start the day right; I drank plenty of water, did a 20-minute workout, had breakfast, did a face-mask, and took a shower. I’ve been so productive and it’s not even 10am.
Later that day, I had a picnic with some of my friends. We gathered in an outdoor park and talked about the country, the weather, some movies and series on Netflix, and of course the virus. There is something about the sun, the greenery, and the company that uplifted our spirits and made us feel so refreshed. We are so blessed in so many ways we don’t even know it anymore, the simplest things in life can sometimes be so pleasurable. I realize now I’ve been writing about myself a lot; I am not particularly self-absorbed I’ve just been very introspective lately, but I can’t help but think about everyone else as well.
From the sick, the poor, and the elderly, to those whose businesses are going bankrupt, those who are living with domestic abuse, and those whose weddings are postponed, to the Palestinians who are living under siege and have no access to proper health care, and the Italians and the Iranians who have been hit the hardest and are building mass graves for all the dead bodies.
Our world is so fragile; we are trying to keep it together, but at the end of the day, we find ourselves walking on eggshells. I guess this is a real testament of the delicacy of our humanity.
