Have You Met My Friend?

By Farah Rafik 

Spotlight Editor 

This morning, I decided that I’ll take my friend Anxiety out.

For clarification, there was no mutual understanding when this relationship began. I woke up one day and found endless texts, calls and she showed up all the time. This is especially true at night when she never leaves.

One day, I said fine. Since we’re friends, might as well take her out – out, out. 

We argue all the time at night. She always tells me to go back to sleep. She has a nagging tone to her voice that always tell me that there’s no reason to get up in the morning, there’s no one for me to see and nothing for me to do. 

Sometimes I wish she had a silent button I could just press so she could shut up – and so I do. I tell her we’re dressing up and showing up. We’re getting in the car, we’re calling our friends and we’re going to class.

I’m making her stop by to get my daily morning coffee. I’m even asking her what she’s in the mood for this morning – she doesn’t always like drinking black coffee. Some mornings, she wants hot chocolate with sprinkles on top, other days she just wants it black. 

But sometimes, she wants her black coffee with sprinkles. 

I accept that – I give her what she wants, what she needs, most importantly, what she feels. 

I can’t explain to my professors that I’m bringing a friend to class, because they wouldn’t understand. This friend isn’t a visitor, she’s practically a resident. She keeps talking when I’m trying to concentrate, she keeps interrupting my train of thought, she makes me think of every other class where this scenario is repeated. 

Overall: 0/10 experts would recommend taking this friend to class. 

She makes one hell of an appearance, especially during the meetings I don’t want to attend. Isn’t there a strict policy about outsiders in closed meetings or something?

I’m not going to lie – this Anxiety is bossy and mean. She very often imposes opinions that I don’t agree with. I don’t like that, so sometimes I take precedence in taking the decisions and sometimes I succumb. Friendship goals.

Speaking of friendship, I take her out with my friends. My friends don’t completely love her – but they love me – and accept whoever and whatever I bring to the table. 

My Anxiety definitely does not love my friends. She tells me they don’t love me back. We fight all the time over this.

They make conversation with her, trying to make her comfortable, and most importantly, don’t make her feel like she is an outsider (she is). After a nice night out, I tell her it’s time to go to bed. Uh – the hour I despise the most. You see, she is a bit of a handful and much (a lot) of a talker.

She likes to keep talking and nagging – when really, all I really want to do is sleep. Sometimes I talk to her and sometimes I shut her up.

I wish I could always shut her up honestly, but I know if on the days that I don’t – then it’s also very okay. 

Honestly though – is anyone interested in taking my friend out?